Spring of Realization

Ever since I was a child I’ve harbored a fascination for all living things. That fascination soon evolved into affection, to the point where I was unable to watch a creature—be it animal, fish or bug—suffer without crying, or tearing up in the very least.
But that didn’t include humans.
Well, it did, in the physical sense. I couldn’t bring myself to punch or kick anyone, even in jest, because I thought it would hurt them and I knew how it hurts. But I never stopped to think that other people had feelings too, ones that could get easily hurt depending on my conduct. I was on good terms with my parents, so they never had a chance to see how cruel I can get with words. Of course, that cruelty was never intentional. Nonetheless, more people than necessary were hurt by my comments.
“You’re really fat. Do you eat a lot?” “That dot on your face makes you look weird.” “Why don’t you talk like everybody else?” Call it brutal honesty, perhaps, or childish innocence—whatever it was, my peers hated me for it. In fact, I ended up being closer with boys than with girls because they were used to such teasing and found my sense of humor, well, acceptable. Girls on the other hand saw me as insensitive and downright mean.
I learned this the hard way. Blissfully unaware of foreign opinions, I was minding my business one school day when a bunch of girls I had been “judging” recently came up to me and sprayed insults at my face. I can’t remember them all; I’m sure the word “ssagaji” (싸가지) was included in there somewhere. All I could do was just stand and gape in amazement as one of them started tearing up, repeating the “mean things” I had said to her before, and another shouted curse words at me. I didn’t realize how much of an impact I had made on these girls with my simple words, and I was baffled. I never meant any harm. I was just telling them what I had observed, and even thought they would thank me for it later. Suddenly gripped by an anger that was unnatural for children my age (I was only 6), I snapped, “Well, I never told any lies.” I carefully concealed the fact that their words had hurt me tremendously, along with a dawning realization that this was what I had done to them as well.